A reader writes:
I’m about 15 years into my professional career, and there is something that has really bothered me the whole time. Do people with office jobs that are primarily self-directed and often creative actually ever spend 40 hours a week working? Because I’ve very rarely come close, which feels like a shameful secret! When I have, it’s been during really busy times (like leading up to a big event) and I’ve been incredibly burnt out.
I have gotten positive performance reviews and feedback in almost every job I’ve ever had (with the exception of brief stints at two extremely toxic workplaces). In my current position, a fairly senior one, I am frequently lauded for the timeliness and quality of my work. I never hesitate to volunteer to join a workgroup or attend a meeting or pitch a new project or take on a project that’s brought up to me (unless I feel like it’s really outside of the scope of my position). I’ll do things outside my normal scope if it’s helpful for the team and I feel qualified. A lot of my work requires the work and approval of other people, so often what I can accomplish is limited by the capacity of others; there’s not just a list of projects I could take on solo and am choosing not to.
You could guess that I’ve just been really lucky to have a lot of positions with lower than average workload, but that seems very unlikely to me.
In my current position, I’m an hourly employee, and previously I’ve mostly been salaried. I do have to bill time to certain projects (this is the first job I’ve had where I have to do that) and I know that if I did it actually accurately it would really mess things up.
Additional context about me:
• Yes, I do have ADHD and no, I am not medicated for it, though not for lack of trying.
• In school, I always finished tests first and teachers often wouldn’t believe that I had finished it until they looked at it. In high school and college I wrote every paper the night before in an hour or two (and yes, I got good grades).
• In grad school, one time I mentioned how ridiculous it was that we were told in the beginning that we should be spending 30 hours outside of class time on school work. Other people in my cohort said that they were indeed spending 30 hours. I was spending maybe 10.
I really like my job, and the people I work with really like me and the work I do, but I have constant anxiety about being found out. But also maybe everyone else is lying about how much time they spend working. I know there have been studies about how people get the same amount of work done during a shortened work week, which implies that I’m not alone. So is everyone else who has to track their time lying too? Or am I a terrible employee engaging in time theft?
(For the record I’m not spending my workdays, like, at Disneyland. I’m available, I’m often just spending mindless time online, which also irritates me on principle because I would rather be doing something actually creative or good for my mental health instead of doing something that gives the appearance of working! And yes I also do online trainings, etc. when I see good ones.)